(Okay so I’m not talking about myself directly because I am not even sure I ever want to be in a relationship again but that’s a blog for another day.)
I spent the past few days watching clips of the OWN show and documentary called “Black Love” and I………..the experience was truly heart breaking. Most of the clips I saw where the normal stories we hear about Christian marriages, where the husband has cheated multiple times, sometimes getting the other women pregnant and really just causing so much pain and heartache. Throughout these clips, the one thing that became very clear is that there is something is very wrong and missing.
I have been thinking though about traits of a good partner and the one I settled on, because it’s the most important to me as it ties everything together, is faithfulness. I am going to explore this biblically and hopefully it will settle when you apply it to the one you want to be partnered with.
Of the nine fruits of the Spirit, I want to focus on faithfulness. Like many of the Spirit’s fruits, faithfulness is not all that difficult to understand. Faithful men are reliable, dependable, trustworthy. They give their word to what matters, and then they live as if that word has weight. We find faithfulness first in God and when we say “God is faithful” (1 Corinthians 1:9), we mean, that He always does what He says He will do. No word that goes out from God’s mouth comes back to him empty or untrue (Isaiah 55:10–11).
So, when a faithful man says he will do something, like love the woman he is with, you don’t have to wonder whether he actually will. He does not need constant oversight or regular reminders to fulfil his responsibilities. He does not need to add extra assurances on top of his word in order to win trust; a simple “Yes” or “No” is enough.
With the way relationships happen, it’s clear to see that faithfulness is something we struggle with. Proverbs 20:6 says, “Many a man proclaims his own steadfast love, but a faithful man who can find?”. This scripture presents a truth of contrast: the great majority of men will boldly proclaim their own goodness but a truly faithful man is a quite rare and precious find.
Desiring a reputation for faithfulness without actually being faithful; expecting others’ trust without living in a trustworthy manner makes no sense yet we see it daily. Here is the thing: faithfulness grows slowly. This fruit reveals itself not in a day or a week or a month, but over years – even over a whole lifetime. Faithfulness is also hard work. Many days come when faithful men would prefer a different course than the one in front of them, because it’s easier, but these men trust in God and go the distance in the direction of what is right. For most, faithfulness goes largely unnoticed, it’s not showy but steady. It’s like the saying goes, “a faithful man is as valuable and yet as inconspicuous as a beating heart.”
Fact is the world is in desperate need of faithful men. Men whose word means something more than maybe. Men whose resolve does not crumble before the basic hum drum of life or hardship. Men who keep covenant in marriage for a lifetime. Men who burn to hear spoken over them those words that will echo through eternity: “Well done, good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:21, 23).
So, where does this kind of faithfulness come from? How, when faithless by nature, can we strive to “be found faithful” (1 Corinthians 4:2)? We can begin by remembering the place where faithfulness grows and the person whom faithfulness glorifies. No matter how faithful we are at this moment, more faithfulness will grow in the same place where the Spirit so often cultivates His fruit: in responsibilities and tasks that feel small, unimportant, ordinary – basically, it’s in little things.
Jesus gives us the principle, “One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much” (Luke 16:10). Many men dream of much in terms of family legacies, lasting ministries, large followings and financial abundance. Its important to realise that even before getting to the “much”, we need to be trustworthy in the little so God can trust us with the “much”.
So, from an entry-level job when we’d like to own a business, a house with roommates when we want to be married, a youth-pastor position when we’d prefer to be preaching. But it’s in those places, the places of “little” where we learn to be faithful.
I say this just to make a point but I am in no way suggesting that we treat the little in front of us merely as a waiting room for the “much” of our dreams. No act of faithfulness, no matter how unseen and seemingly insignificant, is simply a stepping stone. Each act is a new opportunity to glorify and commune with the Lord.
Jesus would have us remember that “whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord” (Ephesians 6:8). When our eyes are lifted toward our Master, whatever good we do – whether much or little, great or small – will come back to us. The faithfulness that so often goes unnoticed on earth will by no means be forgotten in heaven.
So, in a world where we are compiling lists of what we want in a partner, faithfulness should be top of the list with the understanding that it is deeper than “he wont cheat on me”, but that it represents so much more of the person you want to be with and with walk with the Lord.
spokenthoughtsblog.wordpress.com 